"A Debt of Gratitude and Personal Reflection on Healing in a Pandemic," by Angela Valenzuela, Ph.D.

Today was sentimental for me. I finished my last physical therapy session with my wonderful therapist and now dear friend and colleague, Dr. John Longoria at Texas Orthopedics Sports & Rehabilitation Associates located at Barton Creek where he works as lead therapist.

I had a bad fall in a hotel over the Christmas holidays and broke my arm in two—just below the shoulder in the "neck" of the arm. It was so terribly painful and the recovery, long. 

I kept these news mostly to myself because it felt too personal to share at the time. Plus, since I'm right-handed, I wasn't able to write or type very much at all anyway for a good long while.

I took most of the semester off from my teaching responsibilities at the University of Texas where I work so that I could focus on my healing. I'm very grateful for the support that I got from my Chair, Dr. Victor Saenz and Dean Charles Martinez who granted me my requested leave.

In the context of my many months in physical therapy, the healing process has entailed a lot of working through the pain and stiffness via frequent massages, regular exercise, good nutrition, daily prayers, and disciplined meditation. This experience in the middle of a pandemic that included an epic winter storm, deepened my sense of vulnerability—as well as those of others—forcing me to slow down and assess the significance of all of this in this particular moment in history. 

In general, my condition forced me into greater stillness, reflection, and self-awareness, deepening my partnership with the Divine and in so doing, raising my vibration, and engendering a sense of newness and aliveness that I am learning is taking hold across the planet as we collectively navigate meaning and self love, paradoxically, in the throes of seemingly unending wars, unspeakable violence, endemic fear, environmental devastation, and tumultuous political crises.

The deeper message is one of a common humanity that we as humans, regardless of our differences, can regenerate through the power of love if loving ourselves first is our point of departure. What is so liberating is that viewed in this way, we do not discover our purpose in life, but rather we create it as sparks of Divinity herself. 

And this is potentially achievable for every human being if we will only take that journey to the heart. It's beyond interesting to think that we're socialized into always thinking that our purpose and happiness is always "out there," outside of us, when we don't even know ourselves. After all, we are all always much more than we say we are. And we are all always much more than who we are told we are.

When I think of the battles we are having at the Texas State Legislature right now surrounding so-called "Critical Race Theory"—a catch-all term for anything controversial that threatens white legislators' sensibilities —I am struck by the thought that these legislators do not know themselves. Or to the extent that they do, it is in terms of their belief in their "apartness" from the rest of humanity. (Their  "above-ness," too, right?") 

Do give this some thought: If we are all children of God, Creator, Allah, Wakan Tanka, Jehova, Source, or simply "the Divine," then our collective task and responsibility is to discover that we are "a part of," instead of "apart from," as those in power would have us believe.

Ignorance notwithstanding, I think that what lurks beneath the fear of Critical Race Theory is an unwillingness to relinquish "apartness" as a way of knowing and being in the world. Yet the Golden Rule insists on treating others as we ourselves would like to be treated. Similarly, the Mayans have gifted us with "In Lak' Ech," which means that your are my other me—to include the planet and all living things in a cosmovision that promotes planetary peace, healing, and reconciliation. 

I hope that you find healing and comfort in these words. They certainly feel new and redemptive to me.

Dr. John Longoria, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything! You are a virtuoso! I appreciate your upbeat  attitude, compassion and caring, social justice ethic, and unmatched knowledge of the human body. Your targeted massages, dry needle work, and prescribed exercises followed sensible progressions that culminated in my strength and healing. You were also kind enough not to tell me until past the midway point that a break in the "neck" of the arm is among the worst kind of arm-breaks possible. Your magnanimous assistant, Sully, was a constant source of light and encouragement, making every session something that I looked forward to.

Thanks to my hubby, Emilio Zamora, for taking care of me while taking up the slack, particularly in those initial weeks weeks of trauma and adjustment that multiplied his family and home responsibilities. Being close to our community surrounding the ongoing work of Academia Cuauhtli, our Saturday school, was so incredibly heartening, as well. It was humbling to know that I could step back for awhile without worries, knowing that our community's cultural and linguistic revitalizing work would continue. Now that's sustainability!

Thanks to our daughters, Clara and Luz, and Anthony, Luz' boyfriend, who we have come to love and appreciate as part of our family. Having you, as well as our grand children, Feliciano and Mia Luna, ever present throughout these many months of the pandemic made it all not just bearable, but magical and fun. 💗

In Lak' Ech

Tu eres mi otro yo

You are my other me