This is a warning, my friends, out of Bexar County. We know that domestic violence and intimate partner violence is hardly limited either to the beautiful Gabby Petito or this county. Rather, this is happening everywhere—and is a global problem, as well.
The month of October is "Domestic Violence Awareness Month." You can find helpful information in English and Spanish from a website by this name, including a #WeAreResilient Toolkit. You can sign up for it here. You may also seek to be aware of whether a potential partner is an offender.
A good first start is this National Violent Offender & Domestic Violence Registry that provides actual names together with state-level data, including legislative initiatives.
In Bexar County where San Antonio is located, they are witnessing unprecedented, "epidemic" levels of "domestic violence deaths" (read:"'An epidemic': Bexar County's domestic violence deaths are at unprecedented levels, advocates warn"). In this article, president and CEO of Family Violence Prevention Services Marta Peláez says that however difficult the pandemic has been for all, it has been even more difficult for victims of abuse, expressing
“They found themselves isolated in the company of the perpetrator with their children, between four walls, withstanding unthinkable indignities, terror, abuse and manipulation.”
Clearly, while the pandemic has put a lot of stress on families, nothing justifies either violence or deaths. Praise to Marta Peláez, president and CEO of Family Violence Prevention Services for her life-saving work in Bexar County.
An extensive, 11-city study published in the American Journal of Public Health examines risk factors for femicide, or women's violence-related deaths, in abusive relationships. If found the following:
"perpetrator's access to a gun and previous threat with a weapon, perpetrator's stepchild in the home, and estrangement, especially from a controlling partner. Never living together and prior domestic violence arrest were associated with lowered risks. Significant incident factors included the victim having left for another partner and the perpetrator's use of a gun. Other significant bivariate-level risks included stalking, forced sex, and abuse during pregnancy."
The power of prior domestic violence arrest lowering the risk of becoming a victim of domestic violence is noteworthy, suggesting that this is a partial remedy. Clearly, getting guns out of the home is, as well. Do seek help.There are resources, including a national hotline: 1 (800) 799-SAFE 7233). You can also text the word, START, to this number: 88788.
A quick search turned up these domestic violence hashtags so that we can follow the issue via social media:
#domesticviolence #domesticabuse #emotionalabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #narcissisticabuse #narcissist #survivor #toxicrelationships #gaslighting #ptsd #selflove #healing #sociopath #love #narcissisticabusesurvivor #mentalhealth #trauma #divorce #narcissism #womenempowerment #domesticviolencesurvivor #women #toxicpeople #psychologicalabuse #traumabonding #abusiverelationship #manipulation #metoo #bhfyp
Beginning with being aware that 1 in 10 high school students experienced violence at the hands of someone they dated, all of us need to educate ourselves on domestic violence so that we can end it in society. As per the eye-opening— indeed, shocking—statistics I provide below, it's closer to home than one might imagine with women and girls being particularly at risk. That said, men and boys are also victims. For instance, ten percent of men in the U.S. have experienced either rape or sexual violence; and more than a quarter (28%) of male victims of rape were 10 years old or younger.
We can all take steps big and small. Learn about domestic violence prevention in your state. Reach out to whoever represents you locally to access local resources. I just signed this petition calling for Domestic Violence Training By Police Departments.
If you are in San Antonio and need help, consider reaching out to Marta Paláez' non-profit: Family Violence Prevention Services. If you're in Austin, reach out to Safe Place for help at any time of the day or night: 512-267-7233. To get out of danger, visit DomesticShelters.org. Safe Place Austin is actually hiring right now.
We can all do something. We can all do more.
-Angela Valenzuela
References
General statistics from the National Domestic Violence Hotline
- An average of 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 12 million women and men over the course of a single year.
- Nearly 3 in 10 women (29%) and 1 in 10 men (10%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by a partner and reported it having a related impact on their functioning.
- Just under 15% of women (14.8%) and 4% of men in the US have been injured as a result of intimate partner violence that included rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner.
- 1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the US have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
- Intimate partner violence alone affects more than 12 million people every year.
- Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
- Almost half of all women and men in the US have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively).
- Women ages 18 to 24 and 25 to 34 generally experience the highest rates of intimate partner violence.
- From 1994 to 2010, approximately 4 in 5 victims of intimate partner violence were female.
- Most female victims of intimate partner violence were previously victimized by the same offender at rates of 77% for women ages 18 to 24, 76% for ages 25 to 34, and 81% for ages 35 to 49.
Sexual violence statistics
- Nearly 1 in 5 women (18.3%) and 1 in 71 men (1.4%) have been raped in their lifetime.
- Nearly 1 in 10 women (9.4%) in the US have been raped by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
- 81% of women who experienced rape, stalking, or physical violence from an intimate partner reported significant impacts (short-term or long-term) like injuries or symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.
- 35% of men reported the same significant impacts from experiences of rape, stalking, or physical violence from an intimate partner.
- More than half (51.1%) of female victims of rape reported being raped by an intimate partner; 40.8% reported being raped by an acquaintance.
- For male victims, 52.4% reported being raped by an acquaintance; 15.1% reported being raped by a stranger.
- Estimates suggest 13% of women and 6% of men will experience sexual coercion (unwanted sexual penetration after being pressured in a non-physical way) in their lifetime; 27.2% of women and 11.7% of men experience unwanted sexual contact.
- Stalking statistics
- 1 in 6 women (16.2%) and 1 in 19 men (5.2%) in the US have been a victim of stalking at some point during their lifetime in which they felt fearful or believed that they (or someone close to them) would be harmed or killed.
- Two-thirds (66.2%) of female stalking victims were stalked by current or former intimate partners.
- Men who were stalked were primarily stalked by partners (41.4%) or acquaintances (40%).
- The most common stalking tactic experienced by both female (78.8%) and male (75.9%) victims of stalking was repeated unwanted phone calls, voice, or text messages.
- Estimates suggest 10.7% of women and 2.1% of men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime.
- Child statistics
- Children witnessed violence in nearly 1 in 4 (22%) intimate partner violence cases filed in state courts.
- 30% to 60% of intimate partner violence perpetrators also abuse children in the household.
- 40% of child abuse victims also report experiencing domestic violence.
- One study found that children exposed to violence in the home were 15 times more likely to be physically and/or sexually assaulted than the national average.
- According to the US Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Neglect, domestic violence may be the single major precursor to fatalities from child abuse and neglect in the US.
- Teen and young adult statistics
- 9.4% of high school students reported being hit, slapped, or physically hurt intentionally by their partner in the previous 12 months.
- Approximately 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men who experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner first experienced some form of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age.
- More than a quarter (28%) of male victims of completed rape were first raped when they were 10 years old or younger.
- Approximately 35% of women who were raped as minors were also raped as adults, compared to 14% of women without an early rape history.
- The majority (79.6%) of female victims of completed rape experienced their first rape before the age of 25; 42.2% experienced their first completed rape before the age of 18.
- 1 in 10 high school students has experienced physical violence from a dating partner in the past year.
- Most female (69%) and male (53%) victims of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner had their first experience with intimate partner violence before the age of 25.
- 43% of dating college women report experiencing violent and abusive dating behaviors including physical, sexual, digital, verbal, or other controlling abuse.
- Nearly 1 in 3 college women (29%) say they’ve been in an abusive dating relationship.
- 52% of college women report knowing a friend who’s experienced violent and abusive dating behaviors including physical, sexual, digital, verbal, or other controlling abuse.
- 57% of college students who report experiencing dating violence and abuse said it occurred in college.
- 58% of college students say they don’t know what to do to help someone who is a victim of dating abuse.
- 38% of college students say they don’t know how to get help for themselves if they experience dating abuse as a victim.
- Over half of all college students (57%) say it’s difficult to identify dating abuse.
- 36% of dating college students have given a dating partner their computer, email, or social media passwords; these students are more likely to experience digital dating abuse.
- 1 in 5 college women has been verbally abused by a dating partner.
- 1 in 6 college women (16%) has been sexually abused in a dating relationship.
- Victims of digital abuse and harassment are twice as likely to be physically abused, twice as likely to be psychologically abused, and 5 times as likely to be sexually coerced.
- Almost 1 in 10 teens in relationships reports having a partner tamper with their social media account, which constitutes the most frequent form of harassment or abuse.
- Just 1 in 5 victims say they experienced digital abuse or harassment at school during school hours; most takes places away from school grounds.
- Approximately 84% of victims are psychologically abused by their partners; half are physically abused and one third experiences sexual coercion.
- Only 4% of victims experience only digital abuse or harassment. Social media, texts, and emails provide abusive partners with just another tool to cause harm.
- Workplace statistics
- Current or former intimate partners accounted for nearly 33% of women killed in US workplaces between 2003 and 2008.
- In 2005, nearly 1 in 4 large private industry establishments reported at least one instance of domestic violence, including threats and assaults.
- 44% of full-time employed adults in the US reported experiencing the effect of domestic violence in their workplace; 21% identified themselves as victims of intimate partner violence.
- A 2005 survey found that 64% of respondents who identified themselves as victims of domestic violence indicated that their ability to work was affected by the violence. 57% of domestic violence victims said they were distracted; almost half (45%) feared being discovered, and 2 in 5 were afraid of an unexpected visit by their intimate partner (either by phone or in person).
- Nearly two thirds of corporate executives (63%) say that domestic violence is a major problem in society; 55% cite its harmful impact on productivity in their companies.
- 91% of employees say that domestic violence has a negative impact on their company’s bottom line; just 43% of corporate executives agree. 71% of corporate executives do not perceive domestic violence as a major issue at their company.
- Over 70% of US workplaces don’t have a formal program or policy to address workplace violence.
- Domestic violence issues lead to nearly 8 million lost days of paid work each year, the equivalent of over 32,000 full-time jobs.
- 96% of employed domestic violence victims experience problems at work because of the abuse.
Firearm statistics
- Women in the US are 11 times more likely to be killed with guns than women in other high-income countries.
- Female intimate partners are more likely to be killed with a firearm than all other means combined.
- The presence of a gun in domestic violence situations increases the risk of homicide for women by 500%. More than half of women killed by gun violence are killed by family members or intimate partners.
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