This is a warning, my friends, out of Bexar County. We know that domestic violence and intimate partner violence is hardly limited either to the beautiful Gabby Petito or this county. Rather, this is happening everywhere—and is a global problem, as well.
The month of October is "Domestic Violence Awareness Month." You can find helpful information in English and Spanish from a website by this name, including a #WeAreResilient Toolkit. You can sign up for it here. You may also seek to be aware of whether a potential partner is an offender.
A good first start is this National Violent Offender & Domestic Violence Registry that provides actual names together with state-level data, including legislative initiatives.
In Bexar County where San Antonio is located, they are witnessing unprecedented, "epidemic" levels of "domestic violence deaths" (read:"'An epidemic': Bexar County's domestic violence deaths are at unprecedented levels, advocates warn"). In this article, president and CEO of Family Violence Prevention Services Marta Peláez says that however difficult the pandemic has been for all, it has been even more difficult for victims of abuse, expressing
“They found themselves isolated in the company of the perpetrator with their children, between four walls, withstanding unthinkable indignities, terror, abuse and manipulation.”
Clearly, while the pandemic has put a lot of stress on families, nothing justifies either violence or deaths. Praise to Marta Peláez, president and CEO of Family Violence Prevention Services for her life-saving work in Bexar County.
An extensive, 11-city study published in the American Journal of Public Health examines risk factors for femicide, or women's violence-related deaths, in abusive relationships. If found the following:
"perpetrator's access to a gun and previous threat with a weapon, perpetrator's stepchild in the home, and estrangement, especially from a controlling partner. Never living together and prior domestic violence arrest were associated with lowered risks. Significant incident factors included the victim having left for another partner and the perpetrator's use of a gun. Other significant bivariate-level risks included stalking, forced sex, and abuse during pregnancy."
The power of prior domestic violence arrest lowering the risk of becoming a victim of domestic violence is noteworthy, suggesting that this is a partial remedy. Clearly, getting guns out of the home is, as well. Do seek help.There are resources, including a national hotline: 1 (800) 799-SAFE 7233). You can also text the word, START, to this number: 88788.
A quick search turned up these domestic violence hashtags so that we can follow the issue via social media:
#domesticviolence #domesticabuse #emotionalabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #narcissisticabuse #narcissist #survivor #toxicrelationships #gaslighting #ptsd #selflove #healing #sociopath #love #narcissisticabusesurvivor #mentalhealth #trauma #divorce #narcissism #womenempowerment #domesticviolencesurvivor #women #toxicpeople #psychologicalabuse #traumabonding #abusiverelationship #manipulation #metoo #bhfyp
Beginning with being aware that 1 in 10 high school students experienced violence at the hands of someone they dated, all of us need to educate ourselves on domestic violence so that we can end it in society. As per the eye-opening— indeed, shocking—statistics I provide below, it's closer to home than one might imagine with women and girls being particularly at risk. That said, men and boys are also victims. For instance, ten percent of men in the U.S. have experienced either rape or sexual violence; and more than a quarter (28%) of male victims of rape were 10 years old or younger.
We can all take steps big and small. Learn about domestic violence prevention in your state. Reach out to whoever represents you locally to access local resources. I just signed this petition calling for Domestic Violence Training By Police Departments.
If you are in San Antonio and need help, consider reaching out to Marta Paláez' non-profit: Family Violence Prevention Services. If you're in Austin, reach out to Safe Place for help at any time of the day or night: 512-267-7233. To get out of danger, visit DomesticShelters.org. Safe Place Austin is actually hiring right now.
We can all do something. We can all do more.
-Angela Valenzuela
References
Continue reading here for general statistics.
