Even the phrase that this is "a new normal," at least for me, isn't sufficient for capturing the intensity and gravity of the situation with people getting ill, dying, sinking into financial crises, facing serious job and career uncertainty, feeling the loss of physical, and thusly, emotional and psychic distance from others, especially to our close friends and relatives, mourning the loss of loved ones, and so on.
As Dr. Hijazi notes, as opposed to the neoliberal, coronavirus capitalism drumbeat of maximizing productivity in this moment of crisis and, by implication, preserving the status quo—a view that in the current context can sound aloof and even cruel—we all need to have self-compassion right now, caring for our mental and emotional health, as well as that of others. Nothing is "business as usual."
Many throughout the world, myself included, are noting that this is a time for transformation into which humanity has been thrust. We must engender new, redemptive ways of knowing and being in the world. Greater peace, justice, and dignity. This is hard work that is never easy, and frequently painful.
The answer is still love, caring, and compassion, helping others‚ including, if not especially, our children and grandchildren who experience their own doubts, anxieties, and frustrations. We need to listen carefully to them and validate their thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
Un día a la vez. One day at a time. That thought works for me.
Peace and blessings to all.*
-Angela Valenzuela
*Spanish translation below.
#Covid19 #trauma #CoronavirusCapitalism
A trauma psychologist weighs in on the risks of 'motivational' pressure during quarantine
By | 4.7.20
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| Photo by niklas_hamann on Unsplash |
A "motivational" message has been circulating during the coronavirus lockdown, which is allegedly supposed to kick our butts into gear since most of us now have more time on our hands.
Here's one version:
On its face, it may sound logical. We often don't do things because we lack time—or think we do—so now that we supposedly have more time, we should be doing those things now, right?
Just one thing though—there's a deadly global pandemic and massive economic crisis happening, which might be just the tiniest bit distracting right now, Jeremy.
A trauma psychologist from Beirut weighed in on this idea that we should be extra productive right now, and she didn't mince words. Alaa Hijazi's Facebook post has been shared 19,000 times, so people are clearly appreciating her wisdom. She wrote:
I thought I was spared the horrid 'motivational' phrase going around now—'If you don't come out of this with a new skill, you never lacked time, you lacked discipline'—until I saw it on my local yoga studio page.
As a trauma psychologist, I am utterly utterly horrified, enraged, and bewildered about how people can believe and spread this phrase in good conscience.
We are going through a collective trauma, that is bringing up profound grief, loss, panic over livelihoods, panic over loss of lives of loved ones. People's nervous systems are barely coping with the sense of threat and vigilance for safety, or alternating with feeling numb and frozen and shutting down in response to it all.
People are trying to survive poverty, fear, retriggering of trauma, retriggering of other mental health difficulties. Yet, someone has the nerve to accuse someone of lack of discipline for not learning a new skill, and by a yoga teacher!
This cultural obsession with [capitalistic] 'productivity' and always spending time in a 'productive,' 'fruitful' way is absolutely maddening.
What we need is more self-compassion, more gentle acceptance of all the difficult emotions coming up for us now, more focus on gentle ways to soothe ourselves and our pain and the pain of loved ones around us, not a whipping by some random fucker making us feel worse about ourselves in the name of 'motivation.'"
Indeed. Even those of us who are still employed full-time are finding it difficult to focus some days like we used to. The enormity of this pandemic and the global shutdown over it weighs heavy on all of us. Our sense of normality has been turned upside down and the uncertainty over what even the near future holds makes sustained attention a challenge.
Add in the fact that many people now have children at home who used to be at school or childcare, many are struggling to figure out how they're going to pay rent or buy groceries, many are watching businesses or careers they've spent years building crumble before their eyes, many have health conditions that make them anxious about catching the virus, and it's not hard to see how neither "time" nor "discipline" are our big problems right now.
If you want to go read books on hustling and build up some skill set, Jeremy, go for it. But let's not lay a guilt trip on people who are going through a traumatic experience that none of us have experienced before and none of us were prepared for.
SEE SPANISH TRANSLATION BELOW:
SEE SPANISH TRANSLATION BELOW:
Las palabras de la Dra. Alaa Hijazi son muy alimentadores en esta época de COVID. Muchos en el planeta en este momento están experimentando angustia y trauma colectivo e individual. Hacer que la vida y el sustento se derribe de repente es terriblemente impactante.
Incluso la frase de que esto es "la nueva cosa normal," al menos para mí, no es suficiente para capturar la intensidad y la gravedad de la situación en la que las personas se enferman, mueren, se hunden en crisis financieras, enfrentan una seria incertidumbre laboral y profesional, sienten la pérdida de distancia física, y por lo tanto, emocional y psíquica de los demás, especialmente a nuestros amigos y parientes cercanos, lamentando la pérdida de seres queridos, etc.
Como señala el Dr. Hijazi, en oposición al capitalismo del coronavirus que recomenda maximizar la productividad en este momento de crisis y, por implicación, a preservar el status quo, una visión que en el contexto actual puede sonar distante e incluso cruel, todos necesitamos tener autocompasión en este momento, cuidando nuestra salud mental y emocional, así como la de los demás. Nada es normal ahorita.
Muchos en todo el mundo, incluido yo mismo, estamos notando que este es un momento de transformación en el que la humanidad ha sido empujada. Debemos engendrar nuevas formas redentoras de conocer y estar en el mundo. Mas justicia, paz, y dignidad. Este es un trabajo duro que nunca es fácil y la mayor parte del tiempo, doloroso.
La respuesta sigue siendo amor, cariño, y compasión, ayudando a otros, incluidos, si no especialmente, a nuestros hijos e hijas, nietos y nietas que experimentan sus propias dudas, ansiedades y frustraciones. Necesitamos escuchar y validar sus pensamientos, sentimientos y emociones.
Un día a la vez. Un día a la vez. Ese pensamiento funciona para mí.
Paz y bendiciones para todos.
-Angela Valenzuela
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