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Showing posts with label empathy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empathy. Show all posts

Sunday, May 17, 2026

When Billionaires Stop Living in the Same Reality as Everyone Else by Angela Valenzuela, Ph.D. May 17, 2026

When Billionaires Stop Living in the Same Reality as 
Everyone Else
by

Angela Valenzuela, Ph.D.

May 17, 2026











Noah Hawley’s essay in The Atlantic, “What I Learned About Billionaires at Jeff Bezos’s Private Retreat,” begins as a story about an invitation most people would never receive: a weekend at Jeff Bezos’s Campfire retreat in Santa Barbara. In 2018, Hawley joined more than 80 celebrities, writers, intellectuals, artists, and powerful people at a private resort where the setting itself became part of the lesson. Private jets carried guests in. 

Bezos, now one of the world's  "centibillionaires"—a word I just learned—had bought out the Biltmore resort and the beach club across the street. There were elite lectures, curated conversations, luxury gifts, security, and the strange intimacy of being temporarily absorbed into the orbit of immense wealth (Hawley, 2026).

But Hawley’s essay is not really about luxury. It is about what extreme wealth does to a person’s relationship to consequence. At a certain level of wealth, money no longer simply buys comfort; it buys insulation. It removes friction. It softens every edge of ordinary life. Hawley’s insight is that billionaires do not merely own more than everyone else. They may come to inhabit a world in which failure, criticism, inconvenience, and even other people’s pain no longer press against them in the same way they do for most of the planet's inhabitants (Hawley, 2026).

The emotional center of the essay comes after Hawley’s wife breaks her wrist during the retreat. The staff responds quickly and efficiently, getting her medical care. Later, Hawley mentions the accident to Bezos, not as a complaint but as a human moment between host and guest. According to Hawley, Bezos does not respond with sympathy or concern. Instead, he appears uncomfortable and is quickly pulled away. For Hawley, that brief exchange becomes a symbol of something larger: when wealth is vast enough, even empathy can begin to feel optional.

Hawley’s argument is unsettling because it moves beyond one billionaire or one awkward encounter. He suggests that extreme wealth can create a “consequence-free” reality, a world where the richest people are surrounded by admirers, employees, lawyers, consultants, security teams, public-relations experts, and political allies whose job is to make difficulty disappear. 

In that environment, the ordinary moral education most people receive from limits, mistakes, embarrassment, dependency, and accountability begins to break down. As Hawley puts it, the danger is not simply that the wealthy become greedy; it is that extreme wealth can build a world so insulated from ordinary consequence that other people’s lives begin to feel abstract—if not invisible altogether.

That is why Diane Ravitch’s recent post, “Trump Sued IRS for $10 Billion. How Much Will He Pay Himself?,” belongs in the same conversation. Ravitch is not writing about a private retreat or a billionaire’s social awkwardness. She is writing about power, public money, and a permission structure that allows the government itself to morph into an instrument of personal enrichment. Her question—how much will he pay himself?—is not just a jab. It is a moral diagnosis (Ravitch, 2026).

We are living in a country where the billionaire class plays by one set of rules while everyone else is told to tighten their belts, pay their taxes, obey the law, and accept austerity as inevitable. At the end of 2025, 935 U.S. billionaires held a combined $8.1 trillion in wealth, up from $6.7 trillion just one year earlier (Collins & Ocampo, 2026). Meanwhile, Federal Reserve data show that the top 1% held 31.7% of total U.S. net worth in the third quarter of 2025, compared with only 2.5% held by the bottom half of households (Cunningham, 2026also see Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System, 2026a and 2026b).

Against this backdrop, Ravitch’s post captures the grotesque moral divide of our time: Donald Trump, already one of the most powerful people in the country, is pursuing a $10 billion lawsuit against the IRS and Treasury over the leak of his tax records, even as he now oversees the very federal agencies involved in the dispute (Ravitch, 2026). The Associated Press reports that Trump’s lawyers have been in talks with the IRS to resolve the case, raising serious legal and ethical questions about a president suing the government he controls (Hussein, 2026).

The Tax Law Center has similarly warned that any settlement enriching Trump—or shielding him, his family, or his businesses from audits—would raise deeply troubling concerns about political interference in tax administration (DeBot & Hubbert, 2026). The Center notes that discussions about dropping audits of Trump, his family members, or his businesses would implicate legal safeguards designed to prevent political interference with the IRS.

This is not just another Trump scandal. It is a window into a political and economic order in which billionaires and the ultra-rich increasingly treat the state as their private instrument, while public schools, working families, immigrants, students, and everyday people are asked to live with less. Hawley shows us the private psychology of extreme wealth: a world where inconvenience disappears and empathy can be evaded. Ravitch shows us the public danger of that same condition: a politics where the most powerful person in government may seek a massive personal benefit from the government he controls.

The connection matters. Billionaire impunity is not just a lifestyle problem. It is not just about yachts, private jets, elite retreats, or grotesque displays of consumption. It becomes a democratic problem when the richest people are able to bend institutions around themselves. It becomes a civic emergency when accountability is treated as something for ordinary people only.

Most Americans live in a world of consequences. Miss a rent payment, and there are consequences. Fall behind on taxes, and there are consequences. Lose a job, get sick, or make one mistake in a bureaucratic system, and the consequences can be immediate and life-altering. But for the ultra-rich, consequences increasingly appear negotiable. They can be delayed, litigated, spun, purchased, settled, or shifted onto someone else.

That is the country Hawley and Ravitch, in very different ways, are asking us to see. One essay begins at a billionaire’s private retreat. The other begins with a president suing the IRS. Both point to the same question: What happens to democracy when the most powerful people no longer believe the rules apply to them?

Ravitch’s question—how much will he pay himself?—is really a question about the country we have become. And Hawley’s warning helps us understand why the answer matters. When extreme wealth becomes freedom from consequence, democracy itself becomes the thing left holding the bill.

References

Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System. (2026a). Share of net worth held by the top 1% (99th to 100th wealth percentiles) [WFRBST01134]. FRED, Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis. https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/WFRBST01134

Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System. (2026b). Share of net worth held by the bottom 50% (1st to 50th wealth percentiles) [WFRBSB50215]. FRED, Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis. https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/WFRBSB50215

Collins, C., & Ocampo, O. (2026, January 2). Richest 15 centi-billionaires see wealth surge 33 percent over 2025, double S&P 500 rate. Institute for Policy Studies. https://ips-dc.org/release-richest-15-centi-billionaires-see-wealth-surge-33-percent-over-2025-double-sp-500-rate/

Cunningham, M. (2026, January 21). Wealth inequality in America just hit its widest gap in more than 3 decades. CBS News. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/us-wealth-gap-widest-in-three-decades-federal-reserve/

DeBot, B., & Hubbert, D. (2026, May 13). Statement on Trump lawsuit and potential settlement. The Tax Law Center. https://taxlawcenter.org/blog/statement-on-trump-lawsuit-and-potential-settlement

Hawley, N. (2026, April 20). What I learned about billionaires at Jeff Bezos’s private retreat. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/2026/05/billionaire-consequence-free-reality/686588/

Hussein, F. (2026, April 17). Trump’s lawyers are in talks with the IRS to resolve president’s $10B lawsuit. AP News. https://apnews.com/article/trump-treasury-irs-lawsuit-tax-whistleblower-c710244db618b066f3070a65e75820a5

Ravitch, D. (2026, May 13). Trump sued IRS for $10 billion. How much will he pay himself? Diane Ravitch’s blog. https://dianeravitch.net/2026/05/13/trump-sued-irs-for-10-billion-how-much-will-he-pay-himself/


Saturday, May 02, 2026

Leaving MAGA Is Not a Moment—It’s a Process

Leaving MAGA Is Not a Moment—It’s a Process

I was genuinely heartened to learn about Leaving MAGA, an organization born not out of abstraction, but out of lived experience. That matters. Too often, our public conversations flatten people into categories—“us” and “them”—as if political identity were fixed, as if growth were impossible. What distinguishes this effort is its refusal to do that kind of work. It is rooted instead in empathy, in the recognition that people arrive where they are through complex pathways shaped by history, media, community, and lived realities.

There is something deeply important about the fact that this space does not traffic in shame. It does not judge people for having been part of something; rather, it understands that belonging is a powerful force. For many, movements like MAGA offered clarity, recognition, even a sense of purpose in a world that often feels unstable and unequal. If we are serious about addressing the conditions that produce political division, we have to be willing to engage that reality honestly—not dismissively.

What makes Leaving MAGA powerful is that it treats change as a process, not a performance. It recognizes that transformation rarely comes through confrontation alone, but through reflection, relationship, and the difficult work of asking new questions. In that sense, it offers something our broader political discourse too often lacks: a pathway grounded in dignity. And at a time when so much of our public life is organized around polarization and spectacle, that kind of work is not only rare—it is essential.

Here are some helpful links:


-Angela Valenzuela




I was a devoted member of MAGA nation for seven years; it made me feel I was part of something important: a movement that was trying to save American democracy.

But starting in 2021, I realized I had been mistaken. It took me a full year to finally break away. During that time, I came to understand that MAGA is sustained by a series of myths that are intended to create perpetual feelings of desperation and panic.

Succumbing to these predatory myths does not mean you are unintelligent, weak, or lack good character and morals. I have a Bachelor’s degree; have been a working professional my entire life; am a family man; and consider myself a relatively honest and intelligent person. I think the same about you.

I understand the reasons you have for supporting MAGA. And I know many of us traveled different paths to get there. I gravitated to Donald Trump because I have always been suspicious of our two-party system, and I saw him as the right man at the right time.

I have a sense that some of you have quietly left MAGA already, or are increasingly regretful, confused and scared. All of this can be doubly upsetting, since some of your sincerely-held beliefs may have alienated you from friends and family. That certainly happened to me.

It’s perfectly OK to feel this way; leaving MAGA was a tumultuous roller coaster of a process for me. It may be one of the most difficult endeavors you embark upon. In the end, it brought me an inner peace, and a newfound clarity about what is happening in our beloved country.

I founded this organization, Leaving MAGA, because I wanted to create a safe, non-judgmental community for those who leave MAGA, as well as for those who are having doubts about, or remorse over, their devotion to Trump and MAGA.

Our Leaving MAGA community will celebrate how acknowledging mistakes empowers you and America.

It’s difficult for a democracy to function well when millions are estranged from those closest to them.

You do not deserve to have your anxieties about change exploited. You deserve to know the truth. And with Leaving MAGA, you don’t have to feel you would be alone if you leave the movement.

Leaving MAGA is possible. Recognizing that we were wrong, and acting on that knowledge, makes us all more invested in democracy and in the continued work of perfecting our union. Contact us here if you want to talk.

Sincerely, and humbly yours,

Rich

Monday, July 28, 2025

Rethinking Masculinity: On "How to Be a 'Real' Man" with Lilly Sing and Guest Nikhil Taneja

I am happy to learn about vlogger, Lilly Sing, whose body of work includes her powerful and timely conversations, including this one with Nikhil Taneja on How to Be a 'Real' Man. It’s a refreshingly honest deep dive into the weight of patriarchy—not just as a system that oppresses women and gender-diverse individuals, but as one that also harms men by stifling their emotional expression and humanity. 

Taneja, a writer, producer, and passionate mental health advocate, speaks with raw vulnerability about the crushing expectations of traditional gender roles and how they have shaped—and often warped—his understanding of self.

What stands out is how the episode reframes masculinity not as something fixed or biologically determined, but as a performance enforced through generations of social conditioning. Taneja reflects on how boys are taught to “man up,” to suppress fear, tenderness, and grief—lessons that often calcify into emotional repression. The courage it takes to unlearn this is not trivial. He articulates, with great sensitivity, the very real fear that comes with opening up: fear of being judged, dismissed, or worse, of facing social or even physical retaliation. The vulnerability of which he speaks is not only compelling—it’s transformative.

This episode also serves as a potent counter-narrative to the hypermasculine “bro culture” that continues to dominate media, politics, and everyday life. Such culture glorifies aggression, domination, and emotional detachment, perpetuating a narrow and ultimately destructive vision of what it means to be a man. In contrast, Singh and Taneja offer a liberatory path—one grounded in empathy, critical self-reflection, and emotional truth-telling.

This isn’t just about redefining masculinity; it’s about dismantling the toxic legacies we inherit and forging space for healing. Enough with the narrow prescriptions and hidden rules of culture that are so confining to all. Whether rooted in patriarchy, colonialism, or caste-based expectations, these scripts rob us of our fullness. This conversation is a call to dismantle them—for everyone’s sake. It reminds us that true strength lies not in emotional stoicism but in the radical act of being real—of being human.

-Angela Valenzuela

This episode is for every man who’s ever been told to “man up.”I sat down with writer and mental health advocate Nikhil Taneja to talk about something we don’t talk about enough: how the patriarchy is hurting men too! From emotional repression to performative masculinity, we unpack how outdated ideas of manhood are leaving so many men feeling lost, disconnected, and alone... and what real strength and healing actually look like. We cover: -Why vulnerability is a superpower -What healthy masculinity really looks like -How pop culture has failed our boys -And why men need safe spaces just as much as women do Share this conversation with every boy and man you care about! This episode of Shame Less with Lilly Singh is presented by my charity, Unicorn Island Fund. Follow us for BTS and exclusive snippets that won’t be posted anywhere else:   / unicornisland   Follow Nikhil: https://www.instagram.com/tanejamainh... Follow Lilly:   / lilly  

Wednesday, May 28, 2025

The Gospel According to Power: White Grievance Politics and Evangelicalism’s Break with Empathy

In their deeply illuminating article for Vox.com, Aja Romano offers a chilling account of how empathy—long a moral bedrock of democratic life and central to Christian teachings—has come under attack from the Christian right.

 Romano traces the phrase “empathy is a sin” from its origins in the theology of Joe Rigney to its broader diffusion across right-wing evangelicalism and into mainstream conservative discourse. What is particularly disturbing is how this narrative recasts compassion for the marginalized—immigrants, trans individuals, people of color—not as a virtue, but as a moral weakness or even a threat. 

Figures like Rigney and Doug Wilson, with long histories of misogyny and white supremacy, argue that empathy becomes sinful when it is “untethered” from so-called biblical truth—a truth they define in rigid, patriarchal, and

"If Empathy IS A Sin, Sin Boldly.” 
exclusionary terms. Through political figures like JD Vance and cultural influencers like Elon Musk, this framing has now entered the secular mainstream, transforming a faith-centered ethic of care into a defense of cruelty disguised as moral clarity.

Romano’s piece resonates powerfully with Tim Alberta’s recent book, The Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory: American Evangelicals in an Age of Extremism (2023), where he details how white evangelical churches have forsaken the Gospel’s call for humility, justice, and mercy in pursuit of political power. 

Alberta shows how this moral unraveling has led to a culture of grievance, racial resentment, and an abandonment of the least among us—precisely those for whom empathy is most needed. 

What Romano calls out as a “demonization of empathy,” Alberta frames as a theological and cultural betrayal, one that undermines the very foundation of democratic life and religious integrity. 

Both authors reveal a broader retreat from shared humanity—a dangerous shift that prioritizes control over compassion, and ideology over justice. This is not just a religious crisis; it is a civic one, with profound consequences for how we live, lead, and care for one another in an increasingly pluralistic society.

All of this is so shameful—and even surreal. I was raised in the Baptist church, and this rejection of empathy is wholly incompatible with the teachings that shaped my upbringing in West Texas. 

This is not sustainable as an ideology. The attack on empathy may serve short-term culture war gains, but it is ultimately counter-productive. Today’s younger generations—more diverse, emotionally aware, and grounded in justice—recognize empathy as essential, not as weakness. As Aja Romano and Tim Alberta both argue, this rejection of compassion reflects not strength, but fear: a desperate attempt to cling to outdated systems of control. 

In a society that is inescapably moving toward greater inclusion and interdependence, any ideology that vilifies empathy cannot build community, sustain institutions, or inspire a just and democratic future. Those clinging to such views may win short-term battles, but they are on the wrong side of history—and of humanity.

-Angela Valenzuela

Reference

Alberta, T. (2023). The kingdom, the power, and the glory: American evangelicals in an age of extremism. Harper.


Christian nationalists decided empathy is a sin. Now it’s gone mainstream. 

What wouldn’t Jesus do?

by Aja Romano

May 22, 2025, 7:00 AM CDT

















An older woman and a younger woman hugging one another while sitting in a church pew in a large church with stained glass windows. Getty Images


Aja Romano writes about pop culture, media, and ethics. Before joining Vox in 2016, they were a staff reporter at the Daily Dot. A 2019 fellow of the National Critics Institute, they’re considered an authority on fandom, the internet, and the culture wars.

It’s a provocative idea: that empathy — that is, putting yourself in another person’s proverbial shoes, and feeling what they feel — is a sin. 

The Bible contains repeated invocations from Jesus to show deep empathy and compassion for others, including complete strangers. He’s very clear on this point. Moreover, Christianity is built around a fundamental act of empathy so radical — Jesus dying for our sins — that it’s difficult to spin as harmful. 

Yet as stunning as it may sound, “empathy is a sin” is a claim that’s been growing in recent years across the Christian right. It was first articulated six years ago by controversial pastor and theologian Joe Rigney, now author of the recently published book, The Sin of Empathy, which has drawn plenty of debate among religious commentators. 

In this construction, empathy is a cudgel that progressives and liberals use to berate and/or guilt-trip Christians into showing empathy to the “wrong” people. 

Had it stayed within the realm of far-right evangelicals, we likely wouldn’t be discussing this strange view of empathy at all. Yet we are living in an age when the Christian right has gained unprecedented power, both sociocultural and political. The increasing overlap between conservative culture and right-leaning tech spaces means that many disparate public figures are all drinking from the same well of ideas — and so a broader, secular version of the belief that empathy is a tool of manipulation has bubbled into the mainstream through influential figures like Elon Musk.

What “empathy is a sin” actually means

The proposition that too much empathy is a bad thing is far from an idea that belongs to the right. On Reddit, which tends to be relatively left-wing, one popular mantra is that you can’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. That is, too much empathy for someone else can erode your own sense of self, leaving you codependent or open to emotional abuse and manipulation. 

That’s a pretty standard part of most relationship and self-help advice — even from some Christian advice authors. But in recent months, the idea that empathy is inherently destructive has not only become a major source of debate among Christians, it’s escaped containment and barreled into the mainstream by way of major media outlets, political figures, and influencers.

The conversation began with an incendiary 2019 essay by Rigney, then a longtime teacher and pastor at a Baptist seminary, in which he introduced “the enticing sin of empathy” and argued that Satan manipulates people through the intense cultural pressure to feel others’ pain and suffering. 

Rigney’s ideas were met with ideological pushback, with one Christian blogger saying it “may be the most unwise piece of pastoral theology I’ve seen in my lifetime.” As his essay incited national debate, Rigney himself grew more controversial, facing allegations of dismissing women and telling one now-former Black congregant at his Minneapolis church that “it wouldn’t be sinful for him to own me & my family today.” (In an email to Vox, Rigney denied the congregant’s version of events.) Rigney also has a longtime affiliation with Doug Wilson, the leader of the Reformed Christian Christ Church in Moscow, Idaho. 

IN PRACTICE, WHAT RIGNEY IS TYPICALLY DECRYING IS ANY EMPATHY FOR A LIBERAL PERSPECTIVE OR FOR SOMEONE WHO’S PART OF A MARGINALIZED COMMUNITY.

Now well-known for spreading Christian nationalism, and for allegedly fostering a culture of abuse (allegations he has denied), Wilson’s infamy also comes from his co-authored 1996 essay “Southern Slavery: As It Was,” in which he claimed that “Slavery produced in the South a genuine affection between the races that we believe we can say has never existed in any nation before the War or since.” (“My defense of the South does not make me a racist,” Wilson said in 2003.) Rigney appeared on Wilson’s 2019 podcast series Man Rampant to discuss empathy; their conversation quickly devolved into decrying fake rape allegations and musing that victims of police violence might have “deserved to be shot.” 

In an email, Rigney told me that both he and Wilson developed their similar views on empathy from the therapist and Rabbi Edwin Friedman, whose posthumously published 1999 book, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, has influenced not only family therapy but conservative church leadership and thought. In the book, Friedman argues that American society has devalued the self, leading to an emotional regression and a “low pain threshold.” Alongside this he compares “political correctness” to the Inquisition, and frames a “chronically anxious America” as one that is “organize[d] around its most dysfunctional elements,” in which leaders have difficulty making tough decisions. This correlation of emotional weakness with societal excess paved the way for Rigney to frame empathy itself as a dangerous weapon. 

Despite using the incendiary generalization, “empathy is sin,” Rigney told me that it is not all empathy that is sinful, but specifically “untethered empathy.” He describes this as “empathy that is detached or unmoored from reality, from what is good and right.” (An explanation that begs definitions for “reality,” “good,” and “right.”)

“Just as ‘the sin of anger’ refers to unrighteous or ungoverned anger, so the sin of empathy refers to ungoverned, excessive, and untethered empathy,” Rigney told me. This kind of unrestrained empathy, he writes, is a recipe for cultural mayhem. 

In theory, Rigney argues that one should be “tethered” to God’s will and not to Satan. In practice, what Rigney is typically decrying is any empathy for a liberal perspective or for someone who’s part of a marginalized community. When I asked him for a general reconciliation of his views with the Golden Rule, he sent me a response in which he brought up trans identity in order to label it a “fantasy” that contradicts “God-given biological reality,” while misgendering a hypothetical trans person.

The demonization of empathy moves into the mainstream

Despite receiving firm pushback from most religious leaders (and indeed most people) who hear about it, Rigney’s argument has been spreading through the Christian right at large. Last year, conservative personality and author Allie Stuckey published Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion, in which she argues that “toxic empathy is a dangerous guide for our decisions, behavior, and public policy” while condemning queer people and feminists. “Empathy almost needs to be struck from the Christian vocabulary,” Josh McPherson, host of the Christian-centered Stronger Man Nation podcast and an adherent of Wilson and Rigney’s ideas, said in January, in a clip that garnered an outsize amount of attention relative to the podcast episode itself. 

That same month, Vice President JD Vance struck a nerve with a controversial appearance on Fox News in which he seemed to reference both the empathy conversation and the archaic Catholic concept of “ordo amoris,” meaning “the order of love.” As Vance put it, it’s the idea that one’s family should come before anyone else: “You love your family, and then you love your neighbor, and then you love your community, and then you love your fellow citizens in your own country,” he said. “And then after that, you can focus and prioritize the rest of the world.” In a follow-up on X, he posted, “the idea that there isn’t a hierarchy of obligations violates basic common sense.” 

Vance’s statements received backlash from many people, including both the late Pope Francis and then-future Pope Leo XIV — but the controversy just drove the idea further into the mainstream. As part of the odd crossover between far-right religion and online reactionaries, it picked up surprising alliances along the way, including evolutionary biologist turned far-right gadfly Gad Saad. In January, Saad, applying a survival-of-the-fittest approach to our emotions, argued against “suicidal empathy,” which he described as “the inability to implement optimal decisions when our emotional system is tricked into an orgiastic hyperactive form of empathy, deployed on the wrong targets.” (Who are the wrong targets according to Saad? Trans women and immigrants.)

In a February appearance on Joe Rogan’s podcast, Elon Musk explicitly referenced Saad but went even further, stating, “The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy — the empathy exploit. They’re exploiting a bug in Western civilization” — the “they” here being the left wing. “I think empathy is good,” Musk added, “but you need to think it through, and not just be programmed like a robot.” 

By March, mainstream media had noticed the conversation. David French had observed the “strange spectacle” of the Christian turn against empathy in a column for the New York Times. In April, a deep-dive in the Guardian followed. That same month, a broad-ranging conversation in the New Yorker with Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, led to interviewer Isaac Chotiner pressing him about why empathy is bad. The discussion, of deported Venezuelan immigrants wrongfully suspected of having gang tattoos, led to Mohler saying that “there’s no reason anyone other than a gang member should have that tattoo.” (Among the tattoos wrongly flagged as gang symbols were the words “Mom” and “Dad” on the wrists of one detainee.)

The pro-empathy backlash is fierce 

The connective tissue across all these disparate anti-empathy voices is two-fold, according to Christian scholar Karen Swallow Prior. Prior, an anti-abortion ethicist and former longtime Liberty University professor, singled out the argument’s outsize emphasis on attacking very small, very vulnerable groups — as well as the moment in which it’s all happening.

“The entire discourse around empathy is backlash against those who are questioning the authority of those in power,” she told me, “not coincidentally emerging in a period where we have a rise in recognition of overly controlling and narcissistic leaders, both in and outside the church.” Those people “understand and appreciate empathy the least.”

“Trump made it okay to not be okay with culture,” Peter Bell, co-creator and producer of the Sons of Patriarchy podcast, which explores longstanding allegations of emotional and sexual abuse against Doug Wilson’s Christ Church, told me. (Wilson has denied that the church has a culture of abuse or coercion.) “He made it kind of cool for Christians to be jerks,” Bell said. “He made the unspoken things spoken, the whispered things shouted out loud.”

Prior believes that the argument won’t have a long shelf life because Rigney’s idea is so convoluted. Yet she added that it’s born out of toxic masculinity, in an age where stoicism, traditionally male-coded, is increasingly part of the regular cultural diet of men via figures like Jordan Peterson. That hypermasculinity goes hand in hand with evangelical culture, and with the ideas Rigney borrowed from Friedman about too many emotions being a weakness. In this framing, emotion becomes non-masculine by default — i.e., feminine.

“EVERYBODY’S SUPPOSED TO HAVE SYMPATHY FOR THE WHITE MALE, BUT WHEN YOU SHOW EMPATHY TO ANYONE ELSE, SUDDENLY EMPATHY IS A SIN.” -KAREN SWALLOW PRIOR, CHRISTIAN SCHOLAR

That leads us to the grimmest part of Rigney’s “untethered empathy” claims: the way he explicitly genders it — and demonizes it — as feminine. Throughout his book, he argues that women are more empathetic than men, and that as a result, they are more prone to giving into it as a sin. It’s an inherently misogynistic view that undermines women’s decision-making and leadership abilities. 

Though Rigney pushed back against this characterization in an email to me, arguing that critics have distorted what he views as merely “gendered tendencies and susceptibility to particular temptations,” he also couldn’t help reinforcing it. “[F]emale tendencies, like male tendencies, have particular dangers, temptations, and weaknesses,” he wrote. Women thus should recognize this and “take deliberate, Spirit-wrought action to resist the impulse to become a devouring HR department that wants to run the world.”

As Prior explains, though, Rigney’s just fine with a mythic national human resources department, as long as it supports the status quo. “Everybody’s supposed to have sympathy for the white male,” she said, “but when you show empathy to anyone else, suddenly empathy is a sin.”

What’s heartening is that, whether they realize what kind of dangerous extremism undergirds it, most people aren’t buying Rigney’s “empathy is sin” claim. Across the nation, in response to Rigney’s assertion, the catchphrase, “If empathy is a sin, then sin boldly” has arisen, as heard in pulpits, seen on church marquees, and worn on T-shirts — a reminder that it takes much more than the semantic whims of a few extremists to shake something most people hold in their hearts.